She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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