Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
