nut hugger
Swine flu. Run for my life!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
