Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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