so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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