@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
