my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
