He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
