so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
