what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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