isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
