she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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