Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So vagazzling was a success
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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