so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
