That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
