How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
