so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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