The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
