my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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