i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
