I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
