I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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