I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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