Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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