I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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