he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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