; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
