if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
