Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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