somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
