just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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