as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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