doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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