WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
