I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
