So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
