OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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