Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
