bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
