Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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