I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
