dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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