great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
