I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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