So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
