Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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