so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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