I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
