HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
