Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
