Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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