woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
