Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
