i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
