That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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