fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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