Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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