i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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