Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
