I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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