your thong is hanging out like whoa
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I skipped work to stalk him.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
