I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
