today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
