this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Found the puke drawer
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
