remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
