I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
