Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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